Bob Dylan said nasally wailed Mick Jagger and Keith Richards (who has done so many drugs he’s impervious to natural decay) said, “If you try, sometimes, you get what you need.” *(See note at the bottom of the page for correction).
Them’s the bumps.
People will come into your life. So will a lot of situations. You’ll have to decide if they’re going to stay. And if so, how hard to work to keep them. Most times it happens intuitively. You wanted that PR and now it’s yours. Boom. Done deal. But what about that massive beating you took that left you physically unable to speak in complete sentences? Do you just cast it out? No. You own it. Or, a person who’s become something that doesn’t fit in your life? You’ll have to figure that one out yourself.
It won’t always be easy. Some people won’t stay, and it won’t be up to you. Others will want to stay, but maybe not in exactly the way you’d like. Some of these people will become very important to you, for many reasons. They’ll be a great person, have amazing qualities, maybe they’re even hot as balls.
You don’t always get to decide the nature of relationships and situations in your life–it’s not always up to you (at least not just you). What is up to you is how you react to them and how you choose to perceive them. It might not be what you wanted, but it could very well be what you need. Something far too important to dismiss like an almost ripe avocado.
Barbells do not grant requests. They distribute necessities.
A couple of weeks ago I had my face melted by a workout. I can’t recall the last time I got taken down this hard; I was physically destroyed. But I was also (most un-righteously) mentally wrecked. Why?
The workout was made up of things I’m really fucking good at on paper: Chest-to-bar Pull-ups, clean & jerks, and push-ups. I’m not going to get all zen about how expectation shackles you to misery and all that happy bullshit, that’s a whole other post. I expected to do really well. It’s OK–even good–to have expectations of yourself. The problem is when those expectations are unrealistic and based in flawed reasoning.
What Went Wrong
Everything started out simply enough. I did the first set (15 pull-ups) straight without any sort of a problem. Then, the wheels came off the bus. My lungs felt like they were filled with the blood of the xenomorphs from Aliens. My legs lost all stability and coordination. I just fucking imploded.
I had several “Jason Khalipa 2010 Amanda moments;” nearly dropped a bar on my head twice, and fell over several times. I pushed as hard as was possible. I couldn’t process it in the moment, but that alone
should be is enough.
It forced me to think about some things: I’m lighter and faster than ever. I’m stronger under a barbell than I’ve ever been–especially for being a light-ass-motherfucker. My classic metcon isn’t quite where it has been, but that’s not the phase of training we’ve been at. The workout didn’t go how I wanted it to. But some things that I needed, I got:
I caught a vicious beating. Needed it. I went to “the place” harder than I have in a long time. Needed it.
It’s a process, and this is where I’m at in the process.
That wasn’t what I wanted, but it is what I needed. I had to be open to the perspective to see that, though. Getting my head smashed in like Peter Weller in the original Robocop was good for me. It took me a few minutes to figure that out, but it was a, “check myself before I wrecked myself,” moment. Only I got most of the way wrecked figuring it out.
You most certainly don’t always get what you want. In fact, a lot of the times you get exactly what you don’t want. It won’t always be clear to you. Sometimes you’ll have to decide for yourself if it’s what you need.
*I erroneously (and embarrassingly) attributed this song to Bob Dylan this morning. So, here’s my foot in my mouth and the correction. Although the Stones did cover a Dylan tune: Like a Rolling Stone